Saturday, February 28, 2009

{fungrooup} Wife from Hell....

 
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.�The driver says, �Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.�

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: �Now don�t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn�t have cruise control.�As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, �Can�t you please keep your mouth shut for once?�


The wife smiles demurely and says, �You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.�As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, �Darn it, woman, can�t you keep your mouth shut?�

The officer frowns and says, �And I notice that you�re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That�s an automatic $75 fine.�The driver says, �Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.�

The wife says, �Now, dear, you know very well that you didn�t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you�re driving.�


And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, �WHY DON�T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??�

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, �Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma�am?�

U'll love this part....

'Only when he's been drinking.'
http://wallpapersblog4u.blogspot.com/
http://wallpapersblog4u.blogspot.com/2009/03/fergie.html

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{fungrooup} Long live Bachelors ..........

 
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Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life !! -Anonymous
�
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. -Oscar Wilde
�
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. -Scottish Proverb
�
I don't worry about terrorism. I was� married for two years. -Sam Kinison

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. -H. L. Mencken

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a tenyear married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eyeopener.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. -Anonymous
�
I asked my wife, " Where do you want to go for our anniversary ?" She said," Somewhere I have never been !"� I told her, " How about the kitchen ?" -Anonymous
�
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. -Anonymous
�
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.� -Anonymous

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." -Anonymous

Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs... .."

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,� 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"
�
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"
�
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."
�
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... At least he'll shut up after u let him in!� -Anonymous
�
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "
�
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{fungrooup} hi

new to the group and just wanted to say hi! not sure if im doing this
right??

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[get_a_date_now] Earn $ 5000 daily for reading your emails , 3/3/2009, 12:00 am

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{fungrooup} Three things in life

 
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Dream what u want to dream,
Go where u want to go,
Be what u want to be,
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